Now, despite what some people might think, just because a pattern is free doesn’t mean it’s free for you to use however you like. After all, if you click up on the Legal link up there, you’ll find the following:

3. You may not sell any of these patterns, nor are you given permission to sell any items created with these patterns.

So here comes my dilemma…

Now what? I don’t want to become the big dick, here. But I’ve put a lot of time and effort into these patterns. And because I enjoy knitting gifts for others with free patterns, I too have made them free. Could I charge for them? Of course. But I don’t.

But this kind of thing makes me want to. This is my pattern. I’m proud of it. I’m glad people enjoy it and want to buy it from you. But I didn’t make this pattern so that you could make a buck.

At the same time, I want to support my fellow crafters. And I don’t want to be the dick who sends out the cease and desist letters.

But people are profiting from my idea! That’s aggravating! But how do I approach these people and not come across as a massive tool?

So the waffling continues. Your input would be greatly appreciated.

But this book has been used. There’s grease spots, batter splatters, and best of all: notes in the margins from its mysterious previous owner…

There’s checks next to things she’s tried and when, whether or not they are any good. Other recipes have been squeezed in where there is room. The earliest date I could find in her untidy pencil is 1954.

So here’s your Christmas present, if you’re brave enough to try them. A few cakes the mysterious Ms. Victory has marked as “good.” Now, I haven’t made any of these, and I can’t help you much. There’s plenty of holes here, these are the barest bones of recipes. So if you have tried any of them and can help me to flesh these out, do drop me a line.

SPICE  CAKE

• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 cup sour milk
• 1 tsp. soda and all kinds of spice
• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1 cup raisins

(That’s it. That’s the whole recipe. Sorry. Ms. Victory marked it as “made.”)

HOLIDAY DATE NUT CAKE

(This one is hand written into the margins. I’ve made a few edits for easier reading.)

• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 cup sliced dates
• 1 T. butter
• 1 cup sugar
• one egg
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 cup nuts
• 1 T. flour
• Cherries and almonds, for decoration

Sprinkle soda over sliced dates. Pour boiling water over and let cool. Stir occasionally. Strain. Cream butter and add sugar and egg. Beat well. Add sifted flour, adding dates between portions of flour. Add nuts last to which you add 1 tablespoon flour. Flavor with one tablespoon whiskey or wine. Bake in loaf pan 5 x 9 1/2. Line bottom of pan with oiled paper. Bake 350 degrees, 1 hour. Cool and decorate with cherries and almonds.

SWEDISH TEA CAKES

(Ms. Victory says: “Made for retreat at Providence, May 5, 1961″)

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 egg, separated
• 2 2/3 cups flour
• 1 cup nuts, finely chopped
• jelly

Cream first two ingredients until real fluffy. Then add yolks of two eggs and flour. In separate bowl, partly beat two egg whites. Take a small peice of dough and form into a ball in hands, then first dip in egg white, then in nuts. Make a hole in top with thimble and when partially cooked remake hole with thimble. When cooked, fill hole with jelly.

Yet once again, when trying to update the Wordpress software, I am left scrambling for the content lost in the process. And damn, I could have sworn I did it right!!

I also had camera issues. As usual. Going to need to ask Santa for a new camera. The few pictures I managed to take will be going up real soon.

The Cubimals were a big hit! I was nearly out of stock yet again! Those of you who couldn’t make it and have no idea what a Cubimal is? Check it out.

Doris the Bunny was quick to sell, but I have promised myself to make more and sell on my Etsy. Damn it, I will this time!

Any special requests cubed will be happily filled, just drop me a line.

Hugs and kisses to all, and to all a good night!

SIZE 1-4 years.

MATERIALS

Acrylic yarn in the following colors: Cup: 1 skein Gold Worsted Weight Frosting: 1 skein Pale Pink ww Cherry: Scrap Red Yarn, preferrably Chunky Size US 7 (4.5 mm) DPN, OR SIZE OBTAIN GAUGE Large-eyed, blunt needle Stitch markers Optional: Buttons, scrap yarn, beads, safety pins GAUGE 16 sts and 22 rows = 4″ in St st BE SURE TO CHECK YOUR GAUGE.

(MN) MAKE NUBBLE Pull loop through the next st as if to K, then place this look on the left needle next to the original st,2sts. Pull new loop through the second st as if to K, then place loop on the left needle next to the second st,3sts. Repeat twice¡ª5sts. BO 4 kwise. The fifth stitch is now on the right needle.

DIRECTIONS With Cup Color, cast on 80. Work in k2 p2 ribbing for 1 row, join in the round and continue k2p2 for 2 inches. Switch to Frosting Color. K one row. Next row, *K1, MN. Repeat until you made one row of nubbles. (40 times, but who wants to count that?) K until entire piece measures 5 1/2 inches. Switch to CC, *knit 8 stitches, place a marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 6, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 5, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 4, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 3, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 2, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K 1, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. *K2tog, remove marker. Repeat from * 9 more times. Continue to k2tog until 5 stitches remain. Break off yarn and thread the end through the remaining 5 stitches.

With the chunky red, make a pom pom, about 1 inch wide. Whatever looks best on your cupcake.

Weave in loose ends.

Now here’s an optional part: With the buttons, you can sew on sprinkles. Spare yarn, you can stitch on jimmies. Same thing with the beads, rhinestones, whatever you like. But if this hat is intended for a child under 2 years of age, DO NOT attach any buttons, or anything that can be pulled off and choked on!

At one point, I had three grandmas worth of yarn. One stash was given to me on the passing of my Great-Grandma Mary. Another stash came from a friend of my Grandma Nikki. The third was a big bag of acrylic I found at the thrift store. The bag was only 10 bucks, and also inside were some needles, a flower press, and a few books. This pattern is the wackiest of them, and comes from a Coats & Clark’s book, printed in 1959. I just had to share. I’m reproducing the pattern verbatim here, so if it’s confusing, I apologize.

Coats & Clark’s Red Heart Knitting Worsted 4 Ply, Art. E. 232: 1 skein (1 oz. “Tangle-Proof” Pull-Out Skein) of No. 1 White and 2 skeins of No. 848 Skipper Blue.Knitting Needles, 1 pair No. 6.

Plastic or Aluminum Crochet Hook No. G.

GAUGE: 5 sts = 1 inch; 6 rows = 1 inch.

Starting at lower edge with Blue, cast on 116 sts. 1st row: * K 2, p 2. Repeat from * across. Repeat first row until total length is 4 1/2 inches. Bind off in ribbing (knit the k sts, purl the p sts). Block. Sew narrow edges together for back seam.

FRINGE . . . Cut 58 strands of each color, 24 inches long. Working along bound off edge, fold a strand of Blue in half, insert crochet hook in first bound-off st and draw loop end through. Draw ends through loop and pull tight to form on fringe. In same way, fold a strand of White in half and make a fringe in next bound-off st. Continue in this way around entire edge of Hat, alternating colors. Wind a strand of Blue 6 times around all fringes about 4 inches from bound-off edge (or desired depth) and tie securely in place. Trim ends even. Turn up cuff.

SIZE
3-9 mos.

MATERIALS

• 1 Skein silver or gray worsted weight yarn
• 1 Skein brown yarn
• 1 Skein off white yarn
• Size US 7 DPN, OR SIZE OBTAIN GAUGE
• Crochet hook, size G
• Large-eyed, blunt needle
• Sitich markers
• Small amount of Fiberfill

GAUGE
17-18 st/22 rows to 4?

BE SURE TO CHECK YOUR GAUGE.

MAKE RIVET:
Knit into front and back, then front and back again of 1 stitch. 4 stitches.
Turn work, p4.
Turn, k4.
Turn, p4.
Turn, k2tog, k2tog, pass 1st st over 2nd. 1 stitch.

DIRECTIONS
With silver, cast on 80 st. Place marker and join.
Row 1: *k1, p1, repeat from * to marker.
Row 2: *p1 k1, repeat from * to marker.
Rows 3 and 4: Knit.
Row 5: *k7, make rivet (see above), repeat from * to marker.
Rows 6 and 7: Knit.
Row 8: *k1 p1, repeat from * to marker.
Row 9: * p1 k1, repeat from * to marker.

Time to join on brown! Drop that silver. With brown, knit every row until entire hat measures 5 inches.

Now we decrease.
Next row: *k8, k2tog. You should know what the * means by now.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k7, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k6, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k5, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k4, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k3, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k2, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k1, k2tog.
Next row: Knit.
Next row: *k2tog.

Eventually you’ll have 4 stitches left. If now, keep k2tog until you do. Didn’t write down where to stop. Anyhow, 4 st left, break yarn and thread through.

EARFLAPS:
Pick up 8 stitches under one of the rivets.
Rows 1-8: Moss stitch. (k1p1 one row, p1k1 the next.)
Row 9: SSk, moss to end, k2tog.
row 10: Moss across.
Row 11: SSk, moss to end, k2tog.
Row 12: Moss across, boss.
Row 13: SSk, moss to end, k2tog. Pass 1st st over second, 1 stitch remains.

Grab that crochet hook and work a chain for 5 inches or so. Now, count over three rivets, and make another earflap. They should have 2 rivets between ‘em. Just make it look good, kids. This isn’t a science.

HORNS
Make 2. Obviously.
CO1 leaving a long tail for sewing up the seam.
Row 1: knit into front and back of that one st. 2 st.
Row 2 (and all even rows): Purl.
Row 3 (and all odd rows now!): k into front and back, k to last st, k into front and back.
Repeat rows 2 and three until there are 16 stitches.
K one row.
P one row.
Next row: K12, turn work, k8, turn, k to end.
Next row: Purl.
Next row: K12, turn work, k8, turn, k to end.
Next row: Purl.
Work 7 more rows in stockinette.
BO all stitches.
Sew up seam, stuff with fiberfill, and attatch to hat.

YAR! No, that’s pirates. What DO vikings say, anyways??

Anyhow. You’re done now. Go pillage.

They say that sea sponges with poor fashion sense live in pineapples at the bottom of the ocean. I myself think that your baby’s head should live in a pineapple on dry land. This pattern makes use of a knitted texture that my girl Susan had in a calendar of some sort. I made this hat and sold it rather quickly at a craft show, and neglected to write down a few things, like the gauge and the exact measurements for the spikey leaf things. So if you know if you’re a loose/tight knitter, adjust accordingly. I’m rather average, myself.

SIZE
0-3 mos. It’s a bit snug on Rocco there.

MATERIALS

• 1 Skein yellow yarn, worsted weight
• 1 Skein green yarn, worsted weight
• Size US 7 DPN, OR SIZE OBTAIN GAUGE
• Large-eyed, blunt needle
• Stitch markers

GAUGE
Uuuh…

DIRECTIONS
Cast on 80 st. Place marker, join, and work in K1 P1 rib for 2 rows.
Row 1: p3tog, k1 p1 k1 into the same stitch, repeat to marker.
Row 2: Knit to marker.
Row 3: k1 p1 k1 into the same stitch, p3tog, repeat to marker.
Row 4: Knit to marker. Repeat these 4 rows until entire hat measures 5 inches.

Next row: *p2tog, k2, repeat from * to marker. 60 stitches.
Next row: Knit. Next row: *k1, p2tog, repeat from * to marker. 40 stitches.
Next row: Kah-nit.
Next row: *p2tog, repeat from * to marker.
Next row: *k2tog, repeat from * to marker.
Next row: *p2tog, repeat from blah blah blah. 5 stitches should remain. Break off the yarn and thread through the remaining stitches.

LEAF THINGS
Hrm. I didn’t write down how I made them and I already sold this hat, so let’s see if I remember. Make five of these bad boys.

CO 5.
Odd Rows: k1 p1 k1 p1 k1.
Even rows: Purl. Repeat all that til it’s about, oooh… 5 inches let’s say?
SSK, K1, K2tog. K1, K2tog, pass 1st over second, break off, thread through remaining stitch.

Attach the leaf things to the the top of the hat. Weave in all loose ends. Tada! Delicious!

If you’ve never seen anything by Aardman, you’re missing out. This animation studio puts out some of the best cartoons out there. I myself love Wallace and Gromit. Gromit’s a knitter after all. Anyhow, a few years back, they put out a movie called Chicken Run, and once again, there was a character who knitted, and most of the chickens were wearing some sort of knitted wear rendered in clay. This is my version of the hat worn by the main character, Ginger. It’s a simple roll brim hat that has two little Icords at the top. I’d rate this one easy.

SIZE Adult. One size fits all but those with freakishly large heads.

MATERIALS

• 1 Skein Lion Brand Jiffy #173 Grass Green.
• Size US 9 DPN, OR SIZE OBTAIN GAUGE
• Large-eyed, blunt needle
• Sitich markers

GAUGE
14.5 sts and 18 rows = 4? in St st
BE SURE TO CHECK YOUR GAUGE.

DIRECTIONS
Cast on 88 st. Join and work in st st for 6 inches.

*Knit 11 sts, pm. Repeat from * 7 times more.
*K 9, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 8, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 7, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 6, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 5, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 4, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K 3, k2tog, pass marker. Repeat from * 7 more times.
*K2tog. Repeat from * 15 more times, removing markers along the way.

On one DPN, k2tog 4 times. 4 sts on one DPN. With another DPN and the remaining 8 sts, k2tog 4 times. You now have 8 sts total, 4 on each of two DPNs. With one DPN, work those 4 stitches into an Icord for 1 inch. Break off yarn and BO all stitches. Now back to the other DPN and remaining 4 sts. Join new yarn, work Icord for 1 inch. Break yarn and BO.

Sew in loose ends. You may need to stitch a bit at where the Icords meet. I had a hole between ‘em. Put hat on head. Attempt to escape Tweedy’s Farm.